This morning I awoke to four inches of snow. Not a happy place for me. See, it is supposed to be spring. My heart is longing for the flowers, birds and warmth. Instead, I get blizzards, cold and white, white everywhere. Snow has long since lost its charm for me. I am impatient for spring.
I often feel this way in my spiritual walk too. I know that God has brought me here to ND for His purpose and His plan. I have been faithfully watching for the signs of that and all I see is “snow” every where. Yet, I know He is at work in me and that it is spring in my heart.
The Message (MSG)
24-25 “Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal.
My goal is not to remain a “Jenni” seed but to allow His transformation process to turn me into His bloom. This process has included me being “buried” here in ND. For that is how it truly feels. My life as I knew it ended and now it is beginning again here. I feel my life stretching toward His light but as I am planted in this frozen ground, it is a strenuous process. Yet, I know it is my season to bloom. I feel the growth and see the changes. He is calling me forth. I am not who I used to be.
My Pastor spoke this morning about this very thing. He said, “When seasons change, there is always something that dies and always something that blooms.” This hit my heart. It prompted me to ask, “What do I need to let die and what do I need to focus on that is blooming?” Always the plant grows up and roots down. I too, must let His life root me and draw me up. I can’t do this if I am clinging to my seed form.
I wonder if the seed recognizes itself as a plant? See the seed gives up all that it is and becomes something entirely different. Does the seed tremble at the change as I do? Also, the seed doesn’t say where it is planted. That is in the gardeners hands. The seed just grows. This is how I must learn to operate. I perceived myself a specific way, but God has planted that perception here in ND. It is uncomfortable and truthfully, at moments quite dark. I often wonder if I have been planted upside down as I once planted my tulip bulbs that never bloomed. However, I know that God never makes mistakes. My transformation is in process. My job is to let die those things that need to and to embrace His bloom in my life. What He plants grows.
GOD’S WORD Translation (GW)
12 “Break new ground.
and harvest the fruit that your loyalty will produce for me.”
It’s time to seek the Lord!
When he comes, he will rain righteousness on you.
God is breaking new ground in me. He is helping me cultivate my heart to receive His plans and His purposes. As I seek Him, I am growing. It is not me waiting upon the Lord, but rather, the Lord waiting upon me. I must grow into His purpose. I must grow into His call. His good plans for me are so beautiful and great that I could never fulfill them in my seed form. So, I say, Lord be it unto me according to your purpose. I give up my seed and allow your transformation. I accept this dark time as my place to germinate in your Holy Spirit. I die to my world(my way of doing and thinking) even as you are rooting me and drawing me forth. I know what you are doing is great! I know that spring is here and it is time to bloom.
Bloom me Lord!