Lately, my heart has been seeking the Lord for our youngest son. This year he will be starting middle school. Already, I have seen a huge increase in incidences that have sexual connotations. I know that I need Godly wisdom to help him navigate these JR High years.
Recently, at baseball practice, my son dropped a ball and it hit one of the other players feet. The boy said “Do that again and I’ll rape you!” When my son told the coach, nothing was done. Who says that kind of thing? My heart was greatly alarmed.
I began thinking about all the dangers that my son will have to face and I felt great fear. How will I teach my son what he needs to know in order to successfully navigate these years?
One of the things I feel great concern about is the abundance of pornography trying to infiltrate his world. I see it in the games his friends play, the movies and music aimed at his age group. He will walk into the room and just at the moment he enters, the TV will play a commercial that is highly inappropriate. It is almost as if, my son is being hunted by the enemy. I feel greatly challenged on how to protect my son and still allow him to be able to relate to his peers. So again I was asking myself what I need to do……..that is when I realized that I was asking the wrong person.
Here is what I know for certain.
5 Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
6 In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.
I know I need to instruct and train my son in the way he should go. I know he will face temptations that I never faced. I know that I can’t teach him what he needs to know on my own. However, as I acknowledge that I need God to teach me and instruct me in how to parent my son, God will direct and make straight and plain my path.
God did that today for me. I was feeling anxious and all worked up about this subject. I had been reading articles about the dangers of pornography the evening before. So of course I immediately wanted to warn my son to guard his “eye gates.” To be aware of how addictive and dangerous pornography is. I was unsettled as I talking with my son. I was not speaking to my son from a position of faith but of fear. I am sure what came across was, “Mommy is afraid of this and so should you.” Not the message I want my son to hear. The sad thing is, when I parent from fear, the actual message is lost and all that is heard is “be afraid.” I am actually teaching my child to be afraid.
The Holy Spirit reminded me of this scripture:
2 Timothy 1:7 (AMP)
7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.
God’s plan for my parenting is from a position based on a spirit of power, love and well balanced mind. He gives me the power to deal with the temptations of our generation. To teach my son about the addictive power of pornography and how to flee it. He gives me the love to understand and meet the needs of my son during this season. He gives me a well balanced mind that sees the evil but focuses on God’s ability to make a way through it. To be aware of what my son is facing but still give him room to be independent in making his own decisions. He gives me discipline to model the right things for son to imitate. Even when it means repenting for making wrong choices. Today, I allowed fear to dictate my parenting. I repent! Both to God and to my son.
In short, I understand that I need to parent from a position of faith and not of fear. Today, I was being filled with fear. Listening to the “What ifs.” My son belongs to the Lord. The Lord knows exactly what he needs and when. I can trust the Lord to parent through me, exactly what my son needs and when. Especially, as I take the time to acknowledge Him and lean not to my own understanding. God always honors His Word.
On the subject of pornography……I can trust the Lord to give me a battle strategy to war for the purity of my son. Last I checked, nothing is too great or too difficult for God. Not even the wickedness of this. It is my job to asked God for wisdom, to listen and to obey. I understand that the Lord brought this to my attention so I will know how to battle. I do not have to fear! He is giving me wisdom and strategy to know the works of the enemy. I will not parent from fear but from this faith. God is teaching me how to war!
Psalm 144:1 (ERV)
144 Praise the Lord!
He is my Rock.
He prepares me for war.
He trains me for battle.