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Confessions of a daily sinner.

social_media_truthHello,

My idol of the day is PROCRASTINATION.

Why am I writing this at 2:16 am on 2 Feb 2014? I dunno. The Holy Spirit said it was time. So be it. Besides, I have a thing about the time..numbers to be exact. so, on 2-2-14…mathematically..2×2=4, 4×1=4, so it all works out for the OCD’ers like me.

I have to admit, I stress out over writing on this blog. I cannot understand that anyone gets anything out of reading what is going on in my head. But, I am blessed to be in this group of God Fearing women, who are my friends, truly, my friends. I love them, and would give my life for them at a drop of a hat.

I have been planning on blogging for month’s now. But, I am one of those people who likes to start things on the FIRST. For example, the first of the week, the first of the month..you get the idea. Well, I found this wonderfully inspirational book called “My All in ALL, a daily devotional, with 365 days worth of inspiration. I have been talking with my sisters here about it since well before the new year.

But, being a major procrastinator, I missed the first day of the year. So, then I missed the first of the week..and then yesterday, the first of ANOTHER month, I missed it too. Grrrr. But..something wonderful has occurred to me.

It began after a fretful night of sleeping (guilty feelings about not blogging weaving in and out of my dreams), and the following verse was on my mind when I woke up: Lamentations 3 V 23, “They (the LORD’s mercies) are new every morning..” What a revelation to me. I grew up hearing “Today is the first day of the rest of your life,” but I had never really thought about it, nor applied it to my life. There is truly nothing we can do about yesterday-that day is in the past-today is the present, and we aren’t guaranteed tomorrow.

ALL we have is today. We are not promised a tomorrow. Actually,the Bible warns us several times not to “count” on tomorrow. Proverbs 27 V 1: “DO NOT boast of tomorrow, for you know not what a day will bring forth.”                          James 4 V 14-15: “Yet you do not know [the least thing] about what may happen tomorrow. What is the nature of your life? You are [really] but a wisp of vapor (a puff of smoke, a mist) that is visible for a little while then disappears [into thin air]. v15 You ought instead say, If the LORD is willing, we shall live and we shall do this or that [thing].”

Today, is a gift. Today, I am having a wonderful time writing this, my heart filled with bliss. I am  content in the fact that TODAY will be like no other. Today is unique. Today, I write on my blog page, and hope someone reads it, but even if it goes unread, I will have expressed the feelings of my heart.

I am asking you to pray for me. Pray that I not fall back into SHAME, walking and hiding in the darkness of despair. I know that is where Satan would like to keep me. I tend to shut down, not read my email. My phone battery dies, and I plug it in, but I don’t turn it on. FB posts go unseen, messages unanswered, as I steadily build my walls up blocking out the light (GOD’s TRUTH), listening only to the thoughts that Satan continually supplies me with. “You will never finish anything..,”  “Boy, they really made a mistake asking you to contribute to this blog.” “Don’t they know the real you?”  It doesn’t take long for this “chatter” to fill my mind, and I start believing it. I begin to doubt myself, and when I am alone with these thoughts, it’s easy to convince myself they are true. Behind the walls I have built, the light (God’s promises, His faithfulness, Jesus’s sacrifice for me) is blocked out .I am broken, weak, afraid to even reach for His hand. He is patiently waiting, and I am unable to even raise my face. I am dwelling in SHAME.

THIS IS NOT WHERE I BELONG, or WHERE I WANT TO LIVE.

I know Jesus not only died for my sins, but when He sacrificed His life for me, He broke the bondage of shame. Romans 10 V 11: “The Scripture says, No man who believes in Him [who adheres to, relies on, and trusts in Him] will [ever] be put to shame OR be disappointed.” (AMP)

So..this it it for me..for this morning, at least. I feel so much better.

I look forward to your comments..(hello??)

See you on the flip side..

Nicolette

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10 thoughts on “Confessions of a daily sinner.”

    1. Thank you so much. Your comment means a lot to me. It is nice to know that someone out there is listening! God Bless you.

  1. My Dear Fellow Warrior who Christ causes to overcome! Since the time I first started communicating with you till now, you have walked through battle after battle, often times losing the battle but actually winning the war. You are woman after the heart of God. So, my prayer for you, is that you would continue in the courage you have already shown. Courage to see who you are and who God calls you be and then to fling yourself upon His calling in faith. ❤

    Father, I just hold up my dear friend and stand in agreement with her that she is no longer a woman of shame but that she is a woman of your grace. She has your ability, your power, and your strength. When the lies of the enemy rise up, that she would immediately recognize them and raise up her shield of faith. Then will every fiery dart be extinguished. May she learn to delight in You and how you have design her. Thank you for placing her in our blog and for her commitment. Thank you for teaching her how to think and how to build strongholds in her thinking of your word and your Truth. Help her to take every thought that is not from you captive to your word. Thank you for being her ALL in ALL! In Jesus Name Amen

    I love it that setyourpathstraight gave you the same scripture as God had given to me for you:

    Isaiah 26:3

    Amplified Bible (AMP)

    3 You will guard Nicolette and keep her in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because she commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You.

    You have perfect and constant peace because Jesus is perfect and constant. That is where you dwell!

  2. Ah, but the Lord does know his Nicolette!! The Lord is the author and finisher of our faith, so He also know when you finish writing it is because He is finished writing in your heart and it is ready to share. We are here for Him and He is here for you, me, Jenni, Gwen and Tammy. The thing I so admire about you, Nicolette, has been your transparency and courage. Keep up the good work for the Lord!! Blessing ~Zoey

    1. Oh Zoey-forgive me for giving into my childish insecurities last nite..I just felt like a 7 year old who was left back a grade-all about my insecurities, not your actions or words. I am loved by the best! The TT Fierce Sisters! I derive my courage our relationships. You all have given me the courage to step out of the darkness of shame, and into the light. I am blessed!

  3. Lord I thank you for Nicolette, her heart and her willingness to be so transparent with her challenges and share them with others…we all experience doubt and we all have our foibles that can freeze us into inaction. I also thank you that her primary desire is to serve you by serving others. Jesus, I pray that you will Speak truths into her life Every minute to drown out the voices of doubt, shame, worry and ultimate procrastination. These are just another tool that the enemy uses to keep her from being the voice of praise that she desires to be for you. Lord, remind her that “you will keep in perfect peace him [her] whose mind is steadfast because of you.” Isaiah 26:3 Amen and Amen.

    1. I so lovingly thank you. At my church, Mars Hill, ABQ, transparency is a key feature. Self examination is highly encouraged, and it is surprising how fast forgiveness comes when you no longer have anger and resentment festering in your wounded heart. Also, when you realize the problem begins and ends with you, forgiveness takes on a whole new meaning. I am blessed. Thank you again for blessing me.

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