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Learning to let God operate in my weaknesses: Day 4

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The Jesus crucifixion process

Step three: Cry out to God

Matthew 27:46,50

46 And about the ninth hour (three o’clock) Jesus cried with a loud voice, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?—that is, My God, My God, why have You abandoned Me [leaving Me [l]helpless, forsaking and failing Me in My need]?

50 And Jesus cried again with a loud voice and gave up His spirit.

Third, Jesus was in agony. What did He do? He cried out to His father. Look at His words. Jesus felt like God had abandoned Him. Jesus felt like God had forsaken Him in His moment of need. He cried! He shouted out His pain…..then He gave up His spirit.

Translation: This is my weakness, I often feel like God has abandoned me. I don’t see Him move the way I need or I don’t see the supply come as I expect. I cry out to God but I don’t give myself to Him. I fight it. I want the control. I want it my way. I loudly whine, vent and complain. My attitude shouts out my displeasure. Yet, as I read this I was surprised to see that Jesus felt abandoned, too. What did Jesus do with those feelings? He felt them and He shout out to God. Jesus brought His helpless moment to God and surrendered to Him in it. I am so grateful for this vivid moment of humanity in our God. I believe in the shouting out, it is an example of what we are to do with out pain. He didn’t just shout out to anyone, He shouted out to His God. That is what we are to do to.

Crying out to God in our pain, it seems so natural but I am finding that I must purpose to do this. When I am displeased or in pain, I complain, I vent, usually to others. This is a form of gall to me. In my venting I feel soothe somewhat, but never relieved and still full of pain. Only when I cry out to my God, emptying myself of the pain, does it make room for Him in me. It is the crying out that empties me, surrenders me to Him and also humbles me.

I have felt so crucified in this moving process, when I arrived and saw my new home, it was so hard because it didn’t appear as Jenni’s best. I knew it was God’s best but my heart wanted something else.  I felt like I had been through so much that God should provide for me what I wanted. I really struggled with letting God help me submit to Him. I cried out to my husband, my parents, my friends…..yes, a very “gall” moment for me. But I could find no relief in the “gall.” My flesh roared but I am learning to let God operate in my weakness. My roaring flesh could not drown out the still small voice of the Spirit. I heeded Him. I remember saying to my mom, “I know this is the house God has for me, but it is not the house I want!” As I began to cry out to the Lord, like Jesus did and to pour out my disappointment pain, His presence immediately came in and brought relief. He helped me obey. I couldn’t do it on my own, even though I knew it was right. My “gall” attitude was so stinky. Praise God for His divine intervention. His provision is always perfect.  He had been preparing my heart to operate in weakness. When this weakness showed itself, I would have been lost had it not been for His training of me.

Now, daily I am so grateful for God helping me choose His best instead of mine. This home is perfect for me, because God says it is. Every day this is shown to be true as I embrace it. Operating in my weakness, through God’s strength allowed me to discern God’s best and receive it. The vantage point of God’s goodness really changes as I view it from my strength or my weakness. Currently, I love the view from this weak point…..all God’s glory.

Try putting your name where I have put mine and reading this out loud. Let your heart hear God…….

Galatians 2:20 (AMP)

20    Jenni has been crucified with Christ [in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; it is no longer Jenni who lives, but Christ (the Messiah) lives in Jenni; and the life Jenni now lives in the body shes live by faith in (by adherence to and reliance on and complete trust in) the Son of God, Who loved Jenni and gave Himself up for her.

Lord, I pray  that you teach us what it means to be crucified with Christ. What it means to share His crucifixion. Help us to overcome our own thoughts of this and embrace your truths of this.  As we live our now moments, teach us to allow Christ the Messiah to live in us. Reveal to us what that means and help us live practicing the reality of it. As we live by faith in the Son of God let us walk in the fullness of your love, living with the reality of gift of Jesus giving Himself for us. ~In the Name of Jesus, Amen

2 Corinthians 12:9(AMP)

But He said to me, Jenni, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you, Jenni to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and [a]show themselves most effective in [your Jenni] weakness. Therefore, I, Jenni  will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may [b]pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!

Lord, I pray that you help us hear your voice in all our moments. That your grace would speak to us your favor, your loving-kindness, your mercy. That You would help us receive them. That we would see that they are enough for us, for they fulfill every need we have to the fullest. Help us to let your grace enable us to live this life honoring to you. Let your strength and power be perfected in our lives. Let our lives show forth your perfect, fulfilled and completed strength. Be effective in our weakness. We glory in you, gladly, whether walking in our strengths or weaknesses for your power dwells in us. ~In the Name of Jesus, Amen

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4 thoughts on “Learning to let God operate in my weaknesses: Day 4”

  1. Jenni:
    I have visited this spot in your message, over and over, each time pondering the depth of this moment. My devotion brought me to Psalms 69. As I read the chapter, the tone of the petition is a cry [shout out] before the Lord. It brought me back to what you said…”Only when I cry out to my God, emptying myself of the pain, does it make room for Him in me. It is the crying out that empties me, surrenders me to Him and also humbles me.” This is what God wants of us, to get it all out of our system, so to speak. It empties all sympathy of us which is interfering with our relationship with God. He requires 100% because Jesus gave his ALL on his walk of humanity to Paradise. I like how you have identified with Christ because it is the key to obedience and hearing the voice of the Lord, with nothing to interfere with connecting to God. Weakness is another way of saying…” I surrender ALL, Lord”!

    God changes our perspective when our mind, soul and body is turned to Him and away from the circumstances surrounding us and challenging our faith. We find his wisdom in the bible and see evidence of victories through hymns and music, in personal testimonies and witnessing. It is what we are called to do with what he does in and through us. To be a living testimony of His power, that is working on our behalf. His Grace is made strong in weakness, because we have surrendered ALL to him and in that act of faith…His Grace is sufficient!

    We are emptied before him of all the self-sympathies that interfered in our relationship with the Lord. We say to Him in that moment what is reflected in Vs:29 “I am in pain and distress: may your salvation, O God, protect me.” [raise me to a high, secure place] And then what happens next? Vs:30 “I will praise God’s name in song and glorify Him with thanksgiving.” His peace will come to comfort our hearts with gladness. Hallelujah!!

    To God be the Glory for the great things He has done! Bless you my friend ❤ ~Zoey

    1. Dearest Zoey, shall we surrender together? Let us encourage one another to pour out that pain. All of it, even the part that has become comfortable and habitual. How precious are the hearts He unites in the sweet fellowship of coming to know Him better. Truly, His grace is sufficient!

  2. Thanks for this blog again tonight. I have confided in you that I often feel abandoned by God or that I don’t hear his answers or hear themhow I want or as fast as I want.

    1. My dear friend, take comfort in knowing that Jesus, in this moment felt that way too. So those feelings are part of life. We will have them. They may be how we feel in the moment. Yet, God had not forsaken or abandoned Jesus and He won’t abandoned us either. We may feel that way, but just as Jesus cried out with those feelings, we will too. We will entrust ourselves to Him and He will not relax His holding of us. We set our hearts to this truth:

      Hebrews 13:5

      Amplified Bible (AMP)

      5 Let your [a]character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] [b]Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor [c]give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [d][I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor [e]let [you] down ([f]relax My hold on you)! [[g]Assuredly not!]

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