The root of bitterness defiles more than just you.
If someone holds an offense and shares it with you….and you listen to the poison, their bitterness will infect you….Some never come back from that infection of bitterness…even if the offended person is dealt with by God, repents and gets over it.
How does God convict someone of a grudge they’re holding when it isn’t even their offense in the first place?
Be careful whose side you take.
A grudge is a grudge even if I’m holding it against myself or God. Those “innocent” feelings of let down because God didn’t answer a prayer are an offense that needs to be forgiven.
If you don’t desire to talk to God, you are not at peace with Him.
Have you ever considered that you may be misreading a person’s attitude?
Perceived rejection = you THINK someone is rejecting you but you have no proof.
Example: pastor walks right past you after church and doesn’t stop to speak or shake hands with you…..You get offended….”high and mighty”…”who does he think he is?”…”He thinks he’s too good for me”….you are feeling rejected….but perhaps that’s not even his intent. Maybe you misread him. What if he has many things going on at once?
Some have shame that isn’t even from real situations, but from situations we perceived incorrectly.
Sources of Shame:
• My own actions – things I wish I hadn’t done.
What is it that you can’t think about without having an emotional reaction? That’s a wound that is unhealed.
•Rejection – by someone important to me.
Subconsciously, a rejected person blames themselves for not being good enough to be accepted.
•Alienation – abandonment
The victim of adultery usually feels shame for not being good enough. They blame him/her with their mouth but blame themselves with their emotions.
Survivors of suicide…..the person may have died once, but the family/friends die every day with “if only”
•Abuse – violation of self (rape, beatings, self inflicted injury)
•Class rejection – rejection as a group
•Shame – shame begets more shame
Cycle of Shame:
•Shame based identity (expecting to be rejected, expecting failure, convinced that I’m flawed)
•Distorted thinking – need something to be happy (alcohol, drugs, sexual sins)
•Acting out feelings – drugs, alcohol, gluttony
•Life Damaging Consequences – must be faced
•Intensification of Shame – leads back to beginning
REPEAT AFTER ME: My problem is not permanent. God can change me. He can heal me and deliver me from bitterness and shame in Jesus name!
Speaking it in faith whether you believe it or not, is enough to keep you steady until you can let God help you.
(credit to Bishop Charles Wright & Tabernacle of Joy..you can look this study up on YouTube if you’d like to jump ahead.)